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Let's Talk About Sex: Does it Belong in Fantasy?

Fantasy romance is a huge genre at the moment (we can thank the ACOTAR hype for that), but there's still some pushback in online spaces about whether open-door romance even belongs in fantasy in the first place. There's some interesting discourse in these spaces (Reddit, threads, Instagram) that I certainly have thoughts about.


There's an odd trend towards realism, particularly historical realism, in fantasy right now (let's not forget this beauty which recently came up again in a now-deleted thread). We can thank the subgenre of grim dark for that which focuses on how dark and gritty life can be. Often set in a medieval European substitute, these novels contain massive war scenes, mutilations, torture, and of course sexual assault (because that's just how women were treated in the past, don't you know). Somehow in a novel where heads are chopped off and skin flayed, there is no room for the simple pleasure of sex (unless it is to degrade women). According to readers, explicit sex is akin to describing someone using an outhouse: it's a necessary human function that doesn't belong on the page. In other words, violence is fine, but sex is gross. Now the authors that do include sex in their fantasy novels do so for shock value (GRRM's gratuitous sex scenes and let's not forget the "twincest") or added realism (Readers have praised Grim Dark King Joe Abercrombie's explicit sex scenes for being "real"; having read only one of his trilogies containing such scenes I can only interpret this to mean comical).


Before I generalize the entire genre, I will point out that men typically write the above type of fantasy novel. Since I don't want to read about SA as a major character arc for female characters, I tend to avoid that area of the fantasy landscape. I have read "serious" (take that to mean what you will) written by women that have included plot-driven sex scenes. Kushiel's Legacy by Jacqueline Carey is three books of political intrigue and espionage in a lush fantasy Renaissance setting. How does Phèdre obtain her information? She's essentially a prostitute (and a very sought-after one at that). In Jen Williams' Winnowing Flame trilogy, Tormalin only feeds on human blood from his sexual partners. As such he associates feeding with sex. Later on, when he needs to feed to heal himself, he has a sexual response. All parties are embarrassed until well, I won't spoil things for you any more than I have. While this one is technically a fantasy romance, in Swordheart by T Kingfisher, the male lead Sarkis has a lovely masturbation scene to deal with his sexual frustration. You can only imagine the pearls clutched about this in online comments. You try being stuck in a sword for a thousand years! Each of these scenes adds something about the character or the world and creates a richness that wouldn't otherwise be there. Could that be done with a closed-door scene and our imaginations? Sure. Is it more fun to read about a man rubbing one out because he is feeling sexual frustration for the first time in a thousand years? Absolutely.


Fantasy (including science fiction) had about $590 million in sales in 2023 (1). On the other hand, romance is the highest-earning genre in fiction, generating over a billion dollars last year (2). Both continue to grow as genres as both have increased sales by about 50% since 2022 (1,2). If we look at who reads in general, 67% of book readers are women (3). For romance, the divide is much greater, with women representing over 80% of romance readers (2). Statistics for fantasy are about equal (4) with the typical reader being either a 60-year-old woman or a 20-year-old man (5). I don't know about you but I would guess that the stories that appeal to a woman in her 60s are going to be very different to what appeals to a young man. I think that might contribute to the divide of "sex is gross" and fantasy romance in the genre.


Fantasy romance has started to act as a gateway between the monoliths of fantasy and romance. It attracts readers who primarily read romance and opens their eyes to fantasy and vice versa (6). But since women are going to be the primary readers, it is deemed unserious, primarily due to the inclusion of open-door sex. What I truly think the problem could be is the female gaze. Fantasy romance is (typically) written by women for women. Romance and now fantasy romance are labeled as trashy or as porn. I cannot dispute the fact that there is erotica out there. Is that the lion's share of romance out there? I don't think so. Demonizing an entire genre for a small subgenre doesn't seem fair (and so what if it is erotica?!). Either way, the issue isn't the sex. The issue is the women.


Fantasy romance doesn't tap into the male power fantasy that many fantasy novels fall into. Instead, they embrace the idea of the fairy princess, the damsel in the tower, the evil sorcerous queen. It is escapism pure and simple. There is no room for grim dark here. We don't need to be reminded about the gritty truths of reality. No, we want to be swept away by the 500-year-old fae high king. Fantasy romance allows women to explore their sexuality without the dangers of sex. It removes the taboo many of us live with, that we must be pure and obey. Instead, we can pretend that we have summoned a demon who falls in lust and can only have us. We can be worshipped, we can be degraded, we can be hurt, and we can be humiliated. And it is all under our control because it's all in our imagination. We can explore emotions that are "not for us": rage, mania, lust, desire, ambition. Is it any secret why fantasy romance has become so popular recently?


What do you think? Are you team open door or team closed door?


Definitions:

Open door: explicit sex scenes where everything (yes everything) is described on the page

Closed door: can also be called "fade to black", blanket term that mostly means the act of sex is not described but everything leading up to it can be


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